Genealogy Blog Family History

To GPS or Not To GPS?Posted by Administrator on September 15th, 2009

I got a new phone today at the Sprint store, an awesome piece of work called the Palm Pre. While getting me set up, the guy at the counter asked me if I wanted to keep the GPS locator on my phone. For the unfamiliar, this feature lets you locate your cell phone or the cell phone of anyone else under your plan using GPS. I used it last winter to find my cell phone after some kid found it at the local park and decided to take it for a walk. With my wife on Skype and on Sprint’s GPS website and me on my wife’s cell phone- a real Mission: Impossible setup-, we were able to find the phone discarded in some bushes a few blocks away.

Anyway, this offer from the guy at the Sprint store kicked off a conversation about the ethics of using the GPS locator feature to keep tabs on teenagers or other family members. I know some parents who would shudder at the thought of setting foot in their teenager’s room much less using a network of satellites to track their every move, all out of some inexplicable reverence for human privacy. I’ll tell you flat-out I have very little respect for these parents.

In my view, I have a few very well-defined responsibilities as a father. One of those is to provide for my children. Another is to protect my children. Third, I have the responsibility to teach them to make the world a better place and to make themselves better. I don’t see anything in these responsibilities about bowing down before the god of privacy. Nope, if I’m paying, I get full access. I may choose not to exercise that full right out of discretion or sensitivity, but I do reserve that right as a parent.

So you may guess where I fell in the discussion. I am all for tracking my kids’ movements if I suspect foul play. In the meantime, I do my best to make sure I won’t have to suspect foul play. I was happy to know my wife agreed.

Where would you fall on this issue? Would you GPS them or would you resist?

5 Ways to Make Your Own Great Family HistoryPosted by Administrator on September 12th, 2009

No doubt, family history is a great way to build your family’s sense of togetherness. With a shared sense of where you come from and what your ancestors accomplished, parents and children tend to share stronger bonds as a united tribe instead of as a group of strangers living under one roof.

Still, some genealogists dig into their family’s past only to find a collection of scoundrels or criminals. In these cases, family history can be an embarrassing exercise, digging up secrets many would rather keep buried.

In either case, your family’s present is as important as its past. After all, what good is investing so much time in researching your ancestry if you are squandering your time with your own immediate family. What good is searching out the great stories of the past if you are only creating bad stories your descendants will want to forget about. In short, as you are learning more about your roots, don’t forget to nurture your branches.

To help you create some great stories for your descendants to cherish, here are five suggestions:

1. Eat dinner together. Study after study has proven that families who eat dinner together at the table have fewer interpersonal problems. In fact, children of these families do better in school, careers, and future relationships. Most importantly, parents and children establish a time when they can communicate and enjoy each other’s company. So, no matter how busy your family gets, set time aside to partake of a warm meal around your dinner table every night with everyone present. A little scheduling will build relationships you and your descendants will treasure.
2. Take family vacations. With all of the money we pour into large purchases like electronics, vehicles, or clothes, few things have been found to promote personal and family happiness like family vacations. Studies have shown that, while stress actually increases with the purchase of new automobiles or big-screen TVs, family vacations reduce stress greatly and increase the lifetime achievement of family members. So plan and take that trip to the Grand Canyon or even a weekend camping trip. Children don’t forget these experiences and neither will parents. When the car has gone to dump and the TV is obsolete, you will still have golden memories to pass onto your progeny.
3. Show up at big events. There are some events that have special meaning. We remember what happens at these events more than we normally would. Birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, big sporting events, recitals, school plays, holidays, weddings, and funerals are some of these big events. When these events happen, be there. Don’t let cares of the everyday exclude you from the events that everyone will always remember and that will never come again.
4. Make time for one on one. You probably know that each member of your family is a unique individual with his or her own talents, worries, and accomplishments. Studies show that children and spouses who receive one on one attention report much higher levels of satisfaction with their families and higher achievement in other areas of life.If you have children, spend time with each one individually. Take them to the store or to a restaurant, and ask them what is happening their life. If you are married, go out on dates regularly and make it special, even if it is just a candlelight dinner in your basement.
5. Tame the tongue. Few things can uplift and strengthen people like words can. On the other hand, few things can cause lasting harm like words. Countless families have been broken up by careless words often said in anger or haste. Sadly, these words can be remembered for generations, overshadowing whatever good memories there may have been. Don’t let careless words ruin your family bonds or turn your family history into a tragedy. Learn today to give more praise than criticism. Start today to avoid negative comments and find positive things to say. Learn to be patient and humble. Your words will build a family legacy of healthy, bond-building communication and love.

Who’s responsible for values: parents, schools, or the president?Posted by Administrator on September 7th, 2009

Outrage over President Obama’s upcoming televised speech to the nation’s schoolchildren has ignited a storm of objections from parents. Obama says he just wants to give schoolkids a pep talk, tell them to stay in school. Parents claim the president is trying to subvert their authority and feed his own brand of socialist values to their kids. Schools have mostly OKed viewing of the speech in their classrooms, many of them leaving it up to the discretion of their teachers.

This isn’t the first time a president has directly addressed U.S. schoolchildren. Presidents Reagan and Bush, Sr. did it with no real controversy. Bill Clinton appeared on MTV to address the nation’s teenagers and to give his now-notorious "didn’t-inhale" remark. So what’s the big deal this time around? What has these parents in such a tizzy?

Obama’s race certainly has something to do with it-  a lot of people are still scared to death by a black man in the Oval Office-, but it’s not all. The profuse sensationalism surrounding Obama’s election is still fresh on conservatives’ minds- the president’s eloquence and star-appeal is frighteningly strong-, but that doesn’t fully explain it.

No, what has this group of parents so outraged over Obama’s school speech is his policies since taking the presidency. Some of these policies have been kept in the shadows. Some, like the current healthcare reform wildstorm with its accompanying town hall throwdowns and avalanches of lobbyists, have been very public, perhaps more public than lawmakers and the president would have wanted them to be. Add to these Obama’s cozy visits to Egypt and Saudi Arabia and his remarks on the Defense of Marriage Act and you have a very angry, wary conservative base. Even some moderate conservatives are now scared to death of Obama and his- real or imagined- socialist agenda.

So, when these parents no longer trust the President of the United States to deliver solid values, who, if anyone, is responsible for letting the president go ahead or not. Of course, this highlights a broader question: who is ultimately responsible for the instilling of values: parents, teachers, or the government? Out of patriotism or civic duty, should schools be able to override parents’ objections? Should the president be able to override parental objections?

This issue bleeds into all facets of education. We see it in evolution vs. intelligent design. We see it in sex ed. In fact, conservatives are currently in an uproar over the U.N.’s proposed sex education program which encourages contraceptives over abstinence and teaching kids about sex younger and in more detail.

At what point is the government not allowed to intrude on parental discretion? Up to what point is it okay if the president tells kids about school, sex education, or the definition of marriage? These questions get at the very heart of the delicate balance between government involvement and American autonomy.