Genealogy Blog Family History

What about when family history threatens offspring?Posted by Administrator on September 30th, 2009

A recent story on MSNBC told of Patrick Tracey, whose family has a history of acute schizophrenia. The disease ultimately took his older sisters, his mother, and his grandmother. Unwilling to risk passing the disease onto his offspring, Tracey has decided not to have children of his own. This story raises an important question: in the face of irrefutable evidence that your family carries a deadly or harmful disease from one generation to another, would you forego passing on your genes?

Personally, I see my children as central to my life. It would be hard to imagine life and fulfillment without them. But, loving my children like I do, I don’t know if I would want them to suffer if I could help it.

What would you do? Would you go ahead and have children, hoping that either the ovarian lottery would pass them by or that your family would somehow cope with their disorder? Or would you decide the risk was too great?

Places in our Family HistoryPosted by Administrator on September 28th, 2009

My family owned and operated a large board and care facility for the mentally disabled in Azusa, California. We called it Azusa Hacienda because of its white plaster walls, red-brick roof, stunning woodwork, and a huge mural in the common area of a Mexican fiesta. It was surrounded by a huge yard filled with fruit trees of all sorts and large hibiscus bushes- a real Southern California house. We found out after several years that it used to be a brothel and bar. Nevertheless, our family turned it into our gathering place, a place where uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, and second cousins congregated to bask in the glow of family. No other place could have substituted for it. A major character in the lives of four generations of our family, it was truly a member of our family.

Well, as seems inevitable nowadays, the business was closed down. We tried to keep the house in the family, but it gradually became too expensive to keep up. So last year, we sold the house and closed a major chapter in our lives.

This leads me to a thought: what part do places hold in our family histories? It would seem places (like houses) take on a character of their own, a spirit, if you will. They facilitate gathering and celebrating and memories. When they are taken away, it seems there is a disruption in our gatherings until we can find another substitute. In our transient society where we uproot every two years, are we constantly severing these vital ties with the past and memory.

Just a thought…

The Power of Family TraditionsPosted by Administrator on September 21st, 2009

When I was a kid, every time my mom’s side of the family got together, we ate a lot, played sports, made each other cry in board games, sang, told stories, and laughed into the late hours of the night. With my dad’s side of the family, we would play cards, tell stories, pass gas, and laugh into the late hours of the night.

On Thanksgiving, we would play a civil game of flag football with our church and then, nursing our wounds, stuff ourselves silly with turkey and ham. Christmas Eve was almost always spent at one very large house, retelling the Christmas story and stuffing ourselves silly with ham and cake. On New Years Eve, we would line up on the street to watch the Rose Parade floats make their way to Pasadena- we got to see them before anyone else. Later, we would stay up until midnight for the big countdown. Then we would break into the Martinellis sparkling cider, and the family would kneel together in prayer for the new year. Then we would all head home trying to avoid the bullets falling from the sky in our LA neighborhood.

Interestingly enough, most of the experiences I remember today from my childhood and family revolve around these traditions. There was some magic in those experiences that cemented my notions of faith, family, happiness, and fun.

I know there are those for whom ‘tradition’ is a bad word, a relic. While I agree there are some traditions that are better cast off, I know there are some traditions we should never do away with. Traditions define our families. If done right, they bind us together. Sometimes, they are silly or inconvenient. But not all that is old is outdated. They serve a very essential function in families. In fact, it’s hard to define your family without the existence of traditions.

With the holiday season almost upon us, how will you observe or create family-building traditions? Maybe your tradition is waking up early on Black Friday to shop until you can’t see straight. Maybe it’s playing in the snow and coming in for a round of hot cocoa. Maybe it’s going to church. Even just watching the yearly Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer special together is a tradition of sorts. Whatever you choose, these traditions will forge relationships between you and your family members that will not be easily forgotten.

Although it’s always best to start early with traditions if you’re a parent, traditions can start at anytime and often in the most unexpected ways. Maybe your family isn’t the together type. There’s always a first time, and you never know when something good might stick. So give traditions a try this year and watch what happens with you and your family.