Teaching Kids Values is Parents’ JobPosted by Administrator on November 9th, 2009

The other day I read an article about parents up in arms about the increasing amount of trashy material on TV. They griped about why this commission or that board isn’t doing something about this. I read another article about a community torn about how to teach sex ed. Still other articles talked about the actions of community organizers to curb gang violence. As serious as these topics are, I had to laugh. 

 
Why would I laugh at such a thing? Because somewhere along the line, our society got it into our heads that someone else was in charge of our kids’ moral development. We thought that it was just another thing we could outsource in our busy lives. "I’m doing all I can," we like to tell ourselves. "Darn that TV for showing my kid how to swear, cheat, and kill people."
 
I want to say it bluntly so there will be no mistake: parents are in charge of instilling values. It is not the job of a board, a teacher, a commission, the police department, the armed forces, or any other external organization. Studies have found repeatedly that children who receive consistent training in values are much more likely to adhere to and return to those values as they go through life. 
 
Take me, for instance. I grew up East LA- not exactly Mayberry. In fact, gangs, drugs, promiscuity, and violence were rampant. And I do not use the word ‘rampant’ lightly. These things really were everywhere. It would have been easy for my parents to excuse themselves and say, "What can I do against influences like these?" It would have been easy for them to blame the schools or the media if we went bad.
 
But they stuck with it. They taught us right from wrong. When we did go wrong, they straightened us out really quick. 
 
The result: not one of us ever took drugs or participated in gang activity. In fact, we all went on to get college degrees at top tier universities and have upstanding families of our own.
 
How did this happen? I can tell you it had nothing to do with what was on TV or what we saw at school. It was because of the tireless work of our parents. 
 
It’s time we rethought our tendency to look for the media or government for moral guidance. The bottom line is, they are motivated by ratings and votes… period. It’s time we took responsibility for raising our kids squarely back into our hands.


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Religion creates family solidarityPosted by Administrator on October 19th, 2009

"The family that prays together stays together." So goes the old adage. Over the years, ‘prays’ has been transformed into ‘plays’ as our society has moved gradually away from religion and toward secularism. Increasingly on our favorite TV shows and in movies, religious people are portrayed as extreme nutballs and organized religions as dens of corruption. Mentioning prayer is okay, but just for dramatic impact. Mentioning God is not okay in the Pledge of Allegiance, but it is okay for syrupy, shallow sermons about faith or believing- God and Santa Claus. 

Standing outside the realms of academia and entertainment, however, you find that the majority of America is still religious, still goes to church on Sunday, and still prays on a regular basis. Moreover, religion has been found to be a major factor in family strength.

A few years back, the National Study of Youth and Religion, based out of University of North Carolina, found that teens that participate in religious activities five to seven days a week were more likely to have good relations with their parents, not to run away from home, and to participate in sit-down meals with the family. They were also more likely not to use tobacco, alcohol, or drugs, get speeding tickets, or fight. They tended to have higher self-esteem and more positive views on life.

Families that attended worship services at least once a week were also more likely to have good, supportive parents. 

So it appears the media has some catching up to do on the subject of families and religion. While you may hear some awful examples of religions’ abuses, take into account the positive effect religion has on millions of families worldwide.



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Michelle Obama and How Genealogy Tells Us Who We Really ArePosted by Administrator on October 14th, 2009

The revelation that First Lady Michelle Obama’s family history extends back to a white Georgian slaveowner and a slave returned the national spotlight to genealogy. Indeed, it casts a spotlight on the fact that underneath every celebrity, politician, and average joe is a rich story, a family history. 
 
So often we like to define ourselves and others by occupation. We introduce ourselves, "I’m a banker" or "I’m a soccer mom." Others prefer to define themselves by ethnicity. "I am Korean." "I am a Hungarian Jew." Still others pick neighborhood or socio-economic status as their identifier. But are any of these what really define us? At best, they represent a very short-term, rootless worldview. At worst, they represent a forgetting of our true roots.
 
Study after study has shown that family history has a stronger bearing on one’s development and personality than occupation, location, economic status, or even ethnicity. Not too long ago, people identified themselves as the son or daughter of their father or of the house of a certain family. They understood the link from them back to their ancestors and the value that created. It was social capital, as long as your family was respectable. In our individualist society, however, all traces of this practice are being wiped away and with it our conscious ties to the past.
 
Michelle Obama was known as the First Lady, a fierce legal practitioner, and a community organizer. Thanks to genealogy she is also now known as the successful daughter of black slaves, a symbol of the slow redemption of African Americans from the blight of slavery. What do you think drives her more or shapes her character? I’m willing to bet it’s the latter.


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